Just in case you were curious…

I have *many* notebooks, paper notebooks, mostly those speckled, thread-bound “Composition Book” notebooks, filled with Eros, Erote, Apollon, Adonis, and related-religious stuff. About one-quarter to one-third of the contents of these notebooks is coherent poetry, some of it is even something that I would consider good (and I’ve turned being my own worst critic into an art). Maybe one-fifth of the content is ritual outlines and/or draft versions of rit that I swear I will polish up, one of these days. Between fifteen and twenty percent are re-written mythos, including draft versions.

The remaining 30-45% of this content?

Very incoherent!

It’s a mish-mash of half-thoughts, waking dreams, hastily jotted-down “gnosis”-like bits, and so forth. I have a separate dream journal that I have worked out a “system” for, and can totally decipher, if asked to by nosy friends who sometimes go through the books I attempt to hastily conceal under my bed. I’m not talking about my dream journal. Sometimes, I’ll scry or burn bay or get into a quasi-meditative state and wind up jotting down whatever weird shit comes into my head; that’s what I’m talking about. Sometimes, I’ll just be going about my day, maybe I’m in the shower, maybe I’m making my own dinner, and suddenly get a thought that I just somehow “know” has to be logged in this indecipherable system of notebooks (and these notebooks haven’t much in the way of a coherent system), and this thought must get written down, even if I end up dragging soapy water all through the apartment, even if I burn my food, because this is something that has to get logged, no matter how “trivial” (less than two lines), no matter how “crazy” (seemingly unconnected words, speedily drawn flow-charts that suddenly make not one bit of sense two minutes after I jot it down, three-to-ten word phrases repeated for several lines and then stopped with a completely different line written once…); that’s what I’m talking about.

I know that there are people who, upon seeing this stuff, may very well question my sanity. I am well-aware of this. In fact, it is there mere existence of these notebooks, specifically that whole third of them (possibly more) that ends up reading like the literary equivalent of a Genesis P-Orridge sound project or a Yoko Ono experimental film anthology, that I take great offense on certain Hellenic e-mail lists to people misjudge my practise by my tendencies to resort to hard-nosed and often pedantic degrees of logic in threads and claim that “[I'm] not a mystic”. I need these long tirades of logic, reason, and pedantic academia to balance all of the weird shit that bounces around my head throughout my days; I thouroughly believe in this logic, or else it wouldn’t be the logic I use in these threads, but at the same time, I also acknowledge that there are things going on in the “spiritual part of my brain” (for lack of a better descriptive) that I don’t completely understand the mechanics behind. I haven’t had any injuries or prolonged periods of lacking oxygen, nor do I have a sort of seizure disorder that can easily explain these occurrences as a mild degree of brain damage. I have been tested for and lack the typical neurochemical imbalances commonly associated with schizophrenic or schizotypal disorders. In fact, the scans I went through as a teenager seem to indicate that my brain, biologically speaking, is relatively normal. My current knowledge thus suggests to me that these experiences are, to at least some degree, mystical in nature, and I just don’t know how to interpret what any of this means.

So, in the meantime, I write casual essays and articles and re-written mythos and I share that with the Hellenic community on-line. I know what to make of these pieces. I understand where it comes from, and I know what it all means two minutes after I write it down.

If you have any interest in trying to help me make sense of what this remaining 1/3 of my notebooks mean, you can now feel free to contact me at the e-mail address I’ve provided here. Please be prepared to explain to me why you are qualified to decipher this brain-spew; also, be warned, that I’m very poor (on disability allowance for physical reasons) and it is not worth your time to try and swindle me.

How Eros has Affected My General Worship: Chloris

Somehow, I think that the especial cult reverence that I afford Eros and the Erotes has helped me to see how the Theoi are connected and interact. One Goddess, Whom I now feel is often overlooked, Chloris (Flora, in Latin), the Goddess of Flowers, is one who I only really noticed after gravitating toward Eros cultus.

After noticing Chloris, it seemed quite obvious why She should be afforded at least some reverence in Erote worship: Many (and I do mean many) love stories in the mythos of ancient Hellas involve a metamorphisis into flowers. Many flowers are sacred to Aphrodite and the Erotes. Even in modern rituals that many people regard as being totally secular, flowers are often given in romance — and, interestingly, flowers are left for our dead. Again, we come to a relationship between Eros and Thanatos, Love and Death, a relationship which is far more pronounced in Gaelig mythology, and as we can see in the sources on Theoi.com, Ovid -in heavily implying Greek origin of this mythology (indeed, he implies it all over the place)- associates Chloris with the Isles of the Blessed in Elysium, and according to Wikipaedia, She is associated with not only Flowers, but also Spring and New Growth — an incredibly apt Goddess to associate with mythos often interpreted as life-death-rebirth mythos, such as Adonis or Hyakinthos, or even Narkissos.

And let us not forget that, botanically, flowers are basically the sex organs of the plant.

In connecting Chloris to Eros, the nymphai of the flowers are next, then the nymphai as a whole, Apollon, Dionysos, Hermes, Artemis… basically any other Theos with strong connections to the nymphai. In connecting Him to Chloris, we bring Him together with the Seasons, the Winds, the Weather Theoi, Zeus. All roads lead to Eros: Love and Creation.

Óengus mac ind Og

There is a certain contingent of people in the Hellenic community that simply misunderstands syncretism, at best, or is attempting to redefine syncretism for their own purposes, at worst (and then, of course, they insist that everybody else is “redefining it for their own purposes”, despite the fact that it’s “everybody else’s” definition that can be backed up by dictionaries and Wikipaedia, and theirs is the definition that cannot). Religious syncretism is defined by Wikipaedia as [link]:

Religious syncretism exhibits blending of two or more religious belief systems into a new system, or the incorporation into a religious tradition of beliefs from unrelated traditions. This can occur for many reasons, and the latter scenario happens quite commonly in areas where multiple religious traditions exist in proximity and function actively in the culture, or when a culture is conquered, and the conquerors bring their religious beliefs with them, but do not succeed in entirely eradicating the old beliefs or, especially, practices.

The Oxford English Dictionary (the standard dictionary of the English language for most of the world) defines syncretism as link]:

• noun the amalgamation of different religions, cultures, or schools of thought.

So, basically, it can be easily concluded that polytheistic syncretism is not merely the adoption of epithets, but the systematic blending of traditions by an individual or a group.

Now, I bring this up because one practise often applied in syncretic traditions, and inevitably brought up in discussions on ancient polytheism and religious syncretism is “Interpretatio graeca“, a Latin term for tendancies among certain Ancient Greek writers (Wikipaedia cites Herodotus as a primary example) to relate foreign Gods to the Theoi of the Hellenic pantheon. The Romans later adopted this practise, along with truly syncretic elements in the adoption of the Greek Apollon, Latinising His name as “Apollo” and adopting as a State Goddess the Hellenic-Phygrian Kybele. But I digress….

Interpretatio graeca/romana is, in and of itself, merely an exercise by some ancients and modern practitioners to relate the Gods of one pantheon to another. Among modern practitioners, the exercise has been adopted by Asatruar and Keltic recons (who each seem to have their own name, depending on whether they’re Gaelig recon, Cymric recon, Gaulish, etc…), even though the only real evidence of this practise that exists among ancient writings exists pretty much among Romans writing of those groups. Interpretatio is, in and of itself, an imperfect means of relating the Theoi of one pantheon to another. Tacitus likens Hercules to Thor, though in modern times, the preference seems to be to compare Thor to Zeus. Other Roman writers compared the Gaelig Lugh to the Roman Mercury, though Moderns prefer to align Him with Apollon. The Gaelig Brighid was comparable to Minerva, in ancient Rome, though modern conventions liken Her to Vesta. The fact remains that Keltic (or Norse) Deity A does share some qualities with Roman/Greek Deity A, but also shares traits with Roman/Greek Deity B. Interpretatio may be a highly flawed means of relating the Theoi to Deities of other pantheons, after all, these Gods are easily determined to be very incongruent in certain ways, but it’s still an interesting exercise, even if one’s practises aren’t syncretic by definition, in studying how certain Theoi can relate to each-other.

polytheists have the hottest Divine...

Óengus mac ind Og (“Chosen-One the Young Son” or “Son of Youth” in Irish Gaelig) pantheon. He is a God of Love, Music, and Youthful Beauty, He also has solar associations and is considered the Gaelig counterpart to the Cymric (Welsh) God Mabon ap Modron (“Divine Son of Divine Mother”, in Welsh), a God of Youth and Healing; already, it’s very apparent why He would be of particular interest to me, as one whose primary cultus is paid to Eros and Apollon.

Common descriptions of Óengus state that He is followed by songbirds, who some say total no more than four, and who some say represent kisses; the author of one website I found a few weeks ago (and, of course, my del.icio.us FireFox extension was giving me issues on that day — but the latest FireFox update seems to be wrought with problems, anyway, but I digress) attribute the practise of signing love-letters with “[name] xxxx” to left-over and mostly-forgotten reverence to Óengus, going on to state that four is the perfect number for this, for any less would be platonic or familial, and any more would be wasted or a sign of desperation.

Hyakinthos on Apollon's swan A popular story about Óengus mac ind Og involves His love for the princess Caer Ibormeith: It is said that He had a dream of her and, so wrought with lovesickness, His Divine parents had all the Gods of the land search for this girl in order to bring His spirits back up. When she was found, first the task was in order to make sure that she was the right girl, and Óengus found her pretty much instantly. Then the Gods transformed her and ninety-nine other maids into swans, telling Aengus that if He could find his beloved in her swan form, then their love is one that is truly meant to be. When Óengus found her, He turned Himself into a swan form, and the two flew off, making their own beautiful calls over the other birds left on the ground.

Of Óengus’ adopted children include the hero Díarmait Ua Duibhne, roughly translated to “Díarmait of the Love Spot”, who is said to bear a spot on His forehead that no woman can look upon without falling deeply in love with Him. When he became a beautiful young man, Díarmait was seduced by the maiden Gráinne, who was bethrothed to an aging military leader, Finn. Finn pursued the two, with Gráinne being rescued by Óengus, who had vowed to protect the young lovers, and Díarmait escaped by protecting himself with his weapons given to him by Óengus and other Gods. Eventually, the wear on Díarmait fleeing Finn and protecting himself took its toll and Díarmait was slain by Finn’s wild boars, and though he died, Díarmait’s body was spirited away by Óengus, Who prevented Díarmait’s body from decaying, and Who could occasionally be able to give Díarmait just enough life at a time to speak with Óengus.

Some similarities between Óengus and Eros are apparent — the possible importance of the number four (though the Keltoi had no written language of their own before Christianisation, so I’d need to research this more closely before saying it’s anything more than modern speculation), sacred birds, eternal youth, and a “fated” love story. Other elements to His lore and mythos seem to more closely recall Apollon (solar associations, the gift of spears to Díarmait, the presence of music, also eternal youth), while others (the preservation and short-term periodic revivals of the dead) are at their best, rather difficult to compare to either Apollon or Eros, and indeed are not shared between Óengus and either Theos at all.

But one thing that drawing interpretatio between Eros and other “Love Gods” of other pantheons benefits even one who has little more than academic interest in syncretism is that it brings connections to other Theoi of the Hellenic pantheons to light. Díarmait, for example can be viewed as analogous, in some ways, to Adonis: Their shared mortal births, Divine rearing, perceived irresistability, and death by boar — Díarmait’s ill-fated love was with a young mortal woman, but his death brought from a jealous older competitor can be stretched to be analogous to Ares, in some versions of the Adonis myth; the fact that Díarmait is periodically revived from death is comparable to Adonis’ status as a life-death-rebirth deity in ancient Greece. Adonis is relevant to the Eros/Apollon parallels not merely because of Adonis’ close relations to the Aphrodite cultus in ancient Hellas, but because in some obscurer versions of the Adonis mythos, Adonis is said to “lay as a man with Aphrodite and as a woman with Apollon”, with some implications seeming to be that He spent His third part of the year with Apollon.

Of course, even before I became aware of the obscurer connections of Adonis to Apollon, I had felt especially drawn to the revived reverence of Adonis, simply as an extension of my cult to the Erotes.

Whether or not this means that Eros “is” Óengus or that Díarmait “is” Adonis is, quite frankly, not at all for me to say. It can just as easily be said that Óengus “is” Apollon or “is” a Masculine Interpretation of Aphrodite or Persephone. Regardless of the imperfection of the interpretatio, the Óengus mythos remain dear to me as a tool to learning more about Eros and how he related to the other Theoi. Ill-fated lovers are common in the Apollon mythos (Apollon, though associated with quite strongly Healing, can also bring Pain and Suffering); Adonis was often worshipped alongside Aphrodite, as was Eros — I’m sure that I’d think of more if I wasn’t running a blood-sugar low at the moment.

All very interesting things to mull on in the vast realm of Eros worship.

Transgender Day of Rememberance

[This was originally cross-posted to the Hellenion_Chat and Neokoroi e-mail lists, and it just occurred to me that I didn't get around to posting this here, like I said that I would, because the latest FireFox update is total crap and keeps freezing up and the only way to fix it is to reboot this eight-years-old eMachines piece of poopie.]

For those not in-the-know, 20 November is the Transgender Day of Rememberance for TS/TG persons who have died as victims of hate-crimes and is an important day for TS/TG persons (MTF and FTM) and their friends, families, and allies.

As one whose gender has often been debated by others (even though it’s been clear to me for the last two decades and some [note: I consider my condition one of many states of being a "biological eunuch", in that I did not go through a normal boy puberty; but just for the record, I'm male-identified and making several hormonal and surgical "corrections"]), I plan to just simply offer libation, a small portion of lavender, and some music by Jayne County (who is awesome), recite my version of the Story of Hermaphroditos [note: to be posted later, currently in Iss#17 of He Epistole, ask me for a PDF or printed copy], and give this small prayer:

O Kybele, O Hermaphroditos,
Theoi of changed forms,
All I ask of you on this sacred day to those of similar fate
And of form andro-gynos by birth or by hand,
Is to seek justice for those whose time was cut short,
And to aid and protect those who remain in a world less understanding.
May Persephone and Adonis lead those passed safely to the Fields of Elysium,
May those who brought them to You too soon be dealt their due justice in this world,
And by Those Who Judge the Dead.
May Athene and Zeus guide the judges of the living to seek mercy on the deceased,
As you, O Andro-Gynos Theoi, give comfort and confidence to the living.

My rituals are usually very simple, consisting of little more than offering of food and/or herb and libation.

The Theoi of Mod

As I am wont to say, I am a hopeless Mod, so as a post I’m making cos I really want to blog today but can’t think of anything really good to say, let me explain to the non-Mod Pagans and Polytheists and Hellenistai reading this (which is probably everybody but me) the Mod culture with different Theoi.

Apollon: I generally think of Apollon as the most-Mod of the Theoi. Many Hellenistai recognise Apollon as the Theos of Moderation (unlike Nietzscheans, who regard Him as the God of Abstinence — silly, silly, Nietzscheans…), and there is an old saying about Apollon, often presented in the form of an exchange between He and Artemis, wherein Apollon states, “Ah, but I advocate moderation of all things, including moderation itself!” Mods in the 1960s were ragarded as flamboyant dandies in comparison to their working-class backgrounds, but it can’t be denied that they were still considerably less flamboyant than Oscar Wilde, who came before, and the other youth cultures that came after. Mods are still very much like this. The music, which danceable, is hardly the rhythmic thumping of disco and its derivatives (which I regard as Dionysian). Even Mod jazz has some semblance of order amidst the syncopation, but just enough of that freeness to steer clear of that soulless and detestable “smooth jazz”.

Dionysos: Dionysos and Apollon are far from being polar opposites (as Nietzsche liked to portray); to continue that misconception is to underestimate both Theoi, and (in this blogger’s opinion) is very much “missing the mark” and tantamount to blasphemy — but enough about that. Dionysos, through throwing in an element of careful excess (as a Theos of the Theatre and concerts, I highly doubt He approved of Axl Rose’s temper tantrums, and I also find it hard to believe that the Theos of Wine appreciates getting drunk to the point of being sick all over everything, or driving into a tree, or using substances to commit rape) is a Theos perfectly worshipped in just about any nightclub. And really, if any of the Theoi truly appreciate Jazz, I would have to say that it’s Dionysos.

Hermes: Hermes is the Theos most commonly associated with innovation, novelty, and progress — in other words, Hermes is a modernist. Apollon, being among the most sophisticated of the Theoi, is naturally a Modernist (and a modernist) by default, but where Apollon is there to remind us that analogue sound is of superior quality, making the slight medium degeneration from even perfect use of vinyl worth its imperfections, Hermes is there to remind us that it’s perfectly OK to record our records onto mp3′s to not only prevent unnecessary degeneration of the sound recording medium, but because the iPod just looks so cool! A God of Transportation, it was both the desire for affordable transportation and ost WWII resourcefulness that both birthed the Motor Scooter and popularised it amongst British Mods.

Hyakintos: Though commonly regarded amongst mythology buffs and modern worshippers as a Hero, I think there is sufficient enough evidence that the Spartans regarded Him as either a Theos in his own right, or as Hemitheos (demigod) to some extent. That out of the way, let’s look at the most famous attributes of Hyakintos — Young, Male lover and beloved of Apollon, Athletic. Though, in recent years, Mod had been maintained by older generations, at its heart, it’s still a youth culture, meaning that young people are necessary to its growth in both size and spirit. There is also a joke amongst Mod that goes “What do you call a fat Mod? A Trad Skin” and in the book Mod: A Very British Phenomenon, it is stated that “there are no fat Mods”. As for the gay? Well, just check out the first two albums by the band Secret Affair, which my guitarist and I joke solidifies their position as the gayest band composed of all-heterosexual members; also, Pete Townshend has finally admitted that, though he has maintained a heterosexual identity since the 1980s, he “experimented with men” in the 1960s, and at this point, everybody should know that David Bowie was once a more obvious Mod (if you ask me, he never stopped being a Mod, but that’s another story for another time), so obviously sexual ambiguity is not something that Mods should have any sort of problem with (and, historically, is something that Mods typically don’t). By this revelation of Mod, Adonis should be well-suited to Mod worship, as well.

Hekate: I’m not leaving out Goddesses, ladies! A Goddess of gateways and crossroads and the underworld (all of which get mentioned frequently in old blues standards covered by The Yardbirds and The Rolling Stones), Hesiod regarded Her as a feminine counterpart to Hermes and the most powerful of all the Titans. She’s also probably the only Goddess, after Artemis, whom I can envision looking just as regal and Divine with either a bob or pixi haircut. I also biased because there’s a song by Makin’ Time called “Two Coins For the Ferryman”, which seems to contain many Hellenic mythological references including, possibly, Hekate — though I could just be inserting my own meaning there because it’s what I want to hear.

From the Dream Journal

I’m not sure what city I was in, but that’s unimportant.  I start out walking along the pavement with this guy I sort of know in what appears to be one of those older, formerly Middle Class areas of a city like Chicago — the houses are all rather tall and almost all of them have these wrought iron gates.  Then there’s this HUGE house.  Did I say HUGE?  Make that HUGE house.  It’s up on this hill and has this HUGE front garden with fountains.

We stop in front of it to look at this garden and the gates open so, curious, we step in an only after we’ve stepped in, we see all of these “people”, whom neither of us saw as we were just standing out on the pavement looking inward.  Most of them look to be in this ambiguous sort of 25-40 age range, most of them fit, but there are maybe three or four who are really skinny and about the same number who are really fat.  All of them are wearing sparse clothing, like ancient tunics and tropical sarongs, all in really elaborate patterns.  They don’t really seem to be paying us much mind at first, and are just merrily gallivanting about.

I remember this garden rather vividly, even after being up for a few hours.  There are a lot of almond blossom trees that are flowering, several lilacs trees, a few elaborately trimmed evergreen shrubs with the branches sort of woven into spirals.  I recall a bunch of rose bushes, some of them pruned into miniature trees, but most of them not, and I noted a bunch of fuschias.

To get to the house atop the hill, there’s this really elaborate layout of steps.  almost all of the steps have some kind of elaborate mosaic that looks rather Graeco-Roman.  I remember remarking to my companion that a few of the figures in the mosaics included Dionysos, Apollon, Eros, Hermaphroditos, Hyakinthos, Adonis, several zodiac symbols, and some writing that I either couldn’t read or don’t remember right now.

The house itself is also oddly elaborate.  It looks kind of like a cross between a Victorian octagonal house and a sort of ancient Graeco-Roman stadium.  There are grape vines and rose vines growing up around a lot of columns places around the house to create a sort of “hanging garden” appearance; the house is at least three stories high and the columns go up about two and a half stories with connector beams placed at even-spaces heights in about three or four tiers.  Ivy is growing up the house itself.

The doors are just wide open, so we walk right in and on either side of the entry foyer is a reproduction of the Praxiteles Eros, and there’s a really pretty fountain, the base of which appears to be all glass except for some discreet copper piping that you can see through the glass.  A woman rushes over to us and announces frantically that “they” have been expecting us.  In a sort of Rocky Horror kind of fashion, we’re stripped down and redressed in some elaborately embroidered linen tunics, and we’re ushered into this hallway.

In the hallway, the walls and floor and ceiling are decorated in similarly elaborate (gawd, I wish I could think of another word right now) mosaics to the steps outside.  Oil lamp sconces are places pretty high up the walls at even intervals of about a couple yards each; high up enough to keep from getting knocked into, but low enough to provide adequate light.  We seem to be heading rather gradually upward, it’s not very steep, but when we get to the end, there’s this HUGE room; it’s got to be about an acre in area, at least, probably more.  There’s a very shallow pool about a few feet in; very shallow, only about two inches deep itself, but the water doesn’t get more than maybe half an inch deep.  There are steps that water seems to be flowing down.  The steps are about deep enough for an adult to comfortably sit on.

The the top of these steps, twelve or thirteen of them, if this huge sort of”window-box” shrine.  It’s about four feet high and three feet deep into the wall.  People have left all sorts of things there: small statuettes, bouquets of flowers, baskets of fruits, candles, hand-written pieces, and in the wall at the back inside of this “window box” is a stained glass sort of mosaic of Eros, Apollon, Adonis, and Aphrodite, and it’s illuminated in the back.  On the steps are sitting and reclining and laying on their bellies several people (about seven to ten each of men and women), but about twice as many statues.

I crawl up the stairs and sit in front of the shrine, almost exactly in front of the illuminated picture.  I beg my companion to come up and sit with me, as he’s stayed back before the pool.  After much pleading and arm-waving, he starts up.  Just as our fingers are about to touch, I wake up.