30 Day Paganism Meme: Day 11 ~ Patrons – Apollon

As I noted yesterday, Apollon made Himself known to me before all others. As a child, it was the paintings of Apollon that really stood out to me in the D’Auliare book, and it was His mythology that fascinated me the most, and His was the face I often saw as I sang in my choirs. I don’t see the stoic white-marble Apollon that many see — I see Apollon strongest in images like that portrait of Beethoven that I always felt looked half-crazed, or this gorgeous painting of a crazed nymphe pounding on a lyre on the ceiling of the Fischer Building in Detroit. He’s a God of Moderation, and this includes moderating moderation itself — “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, sort of deity. Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

His lesson of “moderation in all things” is less about the austere middle-ground, but more about recognising what is best for the situation, which means recognising that the best choice sometimes really is All or Nothing. His mythology includes the description of a lover some impassioned that he all but lost himself to His beloved.

©Ruadhán McElroy; This was honestly the best I could make this look — the ceiling is at least three stories high.

Some may see this as a lesson in what not to do, a cautionary tale, but if that were the case, then why is laurel sacred to Apollon — and why did Sparta and Thessaly apparently honour Hyakinthos as hemitheos? The the degree of that love is such a disgrace, then wouldn’t such honours logically follow toward shameful? The reality is that this was the proper degree of passions for those instances, and naught but Apollon Himself can change how I see that.

How can the leader of the Mousai be one Who always tempers His passions? Perhaps that makes sense to those who aren’t artists, but it makes no sense to me, and I tend to feel that I produce my best works when dizzy with inspiration, drunk with passion.

But where Dionysos is likened to the lush Jim Morrison, dabbling in anything offered to him, having screaming hair-pulling fits with Nico, growing portly, I think Apollon may be better likened to Derek Jarman: experimenting with visuals, dialogue, and music as it suits projects like Jubilee, expertly casting a completely blind dancer/mime as Caliban in a film version of The Tempest re-worked just enough to impress the most hard-to Shakespeare scholars, taking a biopic project about Caravaggio, and creating a film that serves as a modern tribute to the painter’s once-revolutionary style — and not only that, but approaching his own HIV infection with education and reason, taking to gardening and journalling in his idle hours, and leaving behind a legacy of passions well-spent and well-shared.

Where most people associate grand Wagnerian symphonies or Mozart’s lavish baroque operas with Apollon, I risk, at the very least, an ocean-wave of rolled eyes, perhaps even accusations of blasphemy, and associate the absolutely perfect music of Japan, Brian Eno, and Roxy Music (especially with Brian Eno). I scoff at those who insist that the God of Music has no interest in anything newer than Noel Coward, and apparently little interest interest in anything less grand than Franz Liszt. Such people seem too quick to forget that the music given most readily to Apollon in ancient times was not grand Austrian symphonies, but simple devotional hymns, sung with little, if any, accompaniment. While my first deep connections to Apollon came from singing pristinely orchestrated choral music, the deepest connections I have had in recent years come in the form of performing avant-garde industrial music.

“Music for Un Chien Andalou” is my magnum opus for Apollon and the Mousai. My friend Jason and I created that after each some heavy ritual to our own deities (his to Ganesha; mine to Apollon and the Mousai), and before or since, I have created no equal. It’s so far the greatest offering I have created for any deity. Others, of course, are welcome to disagree, and I’m sure there are some who consider it some kind of sacrilege to offer Apollon any music but the most aureate “classical” pieces by dead composers who wore powdered wigs — and depending on the festival or occasion, I offer that to Apollon, too (especially arias for the castrato Farinelli as performed by intact modern Greek Sopranist Aris Christofellis) — but this is the God of Music, not a specific kind of music, the slayer of the Python, the plague-bringer, He who flayed alive the satyr who dared challenge Him at music. To assume He only has taste for Handel or Porpora is to speak as one whose understanding of Apollon apparently begins and ends with misguided tomes of the atheist Neitzche, or (dare I say? I shall) stale, Bowdlerised versions of His mythology that are barely suitable for small children.

He is the father of pharmacists and doctors, and himself a God of Medicine and Healing. But just as quickly as He can bring Health, He can curse to illness. As quickly as He will praise talent, He will punish pretentiousness. Though His wrath is apparently not nearly enough to warrant a page dedicated to it on Theoi Project, His mythology makes it very clear that it exists, and that He is not a Deity to be trifled with. The painting of Him flaying (skinning alive) the satyr Marsyas fascinates me. Marsyas was a satyr who received a flute from Athene after She invented it and then became bored with it. After becomming adept with it, Marsyas became conceited, boasting that His skills at it were greater than even Apollon’s — forgetting that Apollon was naturally the best at every instrument. When Apollon appeared to Marsyas and said, “yes, you are very good, but if you can play hanging upside-down, I’ll concede that you are my better.” Marsyas knew this was impossible, but his braggadocio got the best of him, and after he hooked his feet onto the branch of a tree, he blew a single sour breath into his first note — then screamed as the God began to peel away his flesh.

His connections to oracles and divinations strengthens the bond I feel with him, for as you may recall from Day 6, I’ve been practising divinations since I was in high school. This, I feel, is indicative that He has connections with the Moirai, which, as I wrote yesterday, would be a connection to Eros. Of course, ultimately, I feel, all comes back to Eros — but I think Apollon’s link is closer than that.

…but then, many link Him very closely to Dionysos, so it makes sense in print to link Him to a similar deity. But also, for a couple years now, I’ve had this post here in my “Drafts” folder that I just can never articulate to my exact liking — one that connects Apollon to Eros as an Erote, as the Patron of the Grieving Lover. Consider how many of Apollon’s affairs (or at least attempts at such) ended in tragedy, typically the death or metamorphosis of the beloved. This would make Apollon’s relationship to Love as quite distinct from Anteros — Love Returned, also the avenger of Unrequited Love — for Apollon’s myths show, quite often, love that is returned, but which ends tragically. This connection could also suggest a patronage over forbidden love — what Eros stirs, Apollon reaches out to console, for He can see that it won’t end well, and He knows this heartache all too well. For this, I suggest an epithet of “Apollon Anteros-Dysdaimon [mutual love, ill-fated]” for His face that holds court with Eros.

Some may find it odd, but I tend to feel closest to Apollon during winter, when those of His cult at Delphi believe that He resides in the Hyperborean lands — the lands north of the frigid North Winds. This, I cannot explain, and probably wouldn’t dare to, if I could. I also tend to associate Him with the phenomenon of the aurora borealis, the Northern Lights, which were described by Aristotle in Meteorology, and which are, on rare occasion, observable from Athens. This, too, ties into Apollon’s associations with Light — though unlike some, I don’t associate Him with Helios or daylight; to me, Apollon is best associated with the flickering candle in the darkened room as I’m scrying, the sun as it reflects off Selene, the dimmer switch that will illuminate all but at a pace He decides is best.

I don’t have any dealings with Artemis; in fact, I had an experience where She specifically asked me to go away. Thinking about it, it makes perfect sense, for She is of wild things, and wild things like their absolutes; their Black/White thinking and are very seldom concerned with greys. I also just plain get the impression that She only wants to deal with those whom She wishes. I also think that my spiritual connection with large cities, and potentially other facts of my nature, may deeply offend Her (which further affirms my belief in the individual natures of the Gods), and while I see a lot of contrasting qualities in Apollon and Artemis, one of them is the notion that where Apollon is the pinholes of lights in the black, Artemis is the heavy cluster of shadows in broad daylight — to better obscure Her appearance for the hunt. But where Artemis rules over all aspects of the wilderness — yes, even the savage parts, Apollon rules over the civilised parts of the world, from the developed farmland, to the suburbs, to the bustling metropoleis — and yes, even its more unsavory aspects. From the clean and well-kept suburban pagan bookstore run by the sweet old lady, to the commune of Anarcho-Socialist hoamsteaders in rural Colarado, to the “crazy” on the Chicago street-corner who swears she knows what’s going to happen to you — the Apollon I know give each of those people and all others in-between their due measure.

My Apollon is neither grandiloquent nor pretentious; he’s not the somber antithesis to Dionysos’ mania; he’s not a shower of sunlight, and His wisdom is often cryptic or just plain cynical. It’s not uncommon for me to talk with Him and get sardonic replies — but at this point in the relationship, I know it’s because He has certain very specific ideas for how things should happen, and He knows that, with me, He can be openly frustrated with His own confines to Psykhe’s weave without scaring me. I don’t have as dark a portrait of Him as at least one of my friends does, but I at least like to think that her friendship was nudged my way so that I wouldn’t have to have one of my own — perhaps, in time, this too will be stitched out for me?

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30 Day Paganism Meme: Day 6 ~ Beliefs – Divination, mysticism and various woo shit

First off, I’m going to make it quite clear that the definition of “magic” has never really been concrete and immutable. Alistair Crowley may have attempted to codify a definition of ceremonial magick to differentiate it from stage illusions, but that’s one of many working definitions in the communities under the pagan & polytheist umbrella, and only a handful of the others are based on or influenced by Crowley’s — and if you’re being perfectly honest, you know this is the case.

To many Christians (and I know this from experiencing conversations with said about this topic), any kind of divination is automatically “magic” and forbidden to them — except to the few of those specific Christians why count astrology as a science. To some Hellenists (including those seeking to sully the term “religious reconstruction” with their own brand of Neoplatonic fundamental absolutist One-True-Wayism) “magic” is the use of so-called supernatural forces to alter reality and is automatically “hubris” because they can find a few ancient writers who agreed (I will return to this). To a lot of pagans and polytheists, including this one guy I’ve butted heads with several times, the line between what is “religion” and what is “magic” is ultimately quite blurry and may include not only divination, but also meditation and basic prayer.

Now, I don’t subscribe to an all-or-nothing worldview where either all is magic or nothing is magic — I believe it is safe to say that spellcraft is magic, and without a doubt, so is ceremonial magic, but if I pray to Apollon and the Mousai with a request that my friend Jason and I create a brilliant piece of music, and then we do, in fact, create something we both agree is brilliant enough to put our own names on and which a third friend is willing to première in Brisbane — was that magic? By some definitions I’ve heard from a pagan or two in-person, the fact that I burned some bay with that request (shh!) technically may make it spellcraft — obviously, she missed the fact that I don’t do spells, so why don’t we just smile and nod condescendingly, because we know better [taps nose].

As for ancient Hellas, I’m going to quote my friend Gavin, cos she put it about as well as I would:

I do not argue that it is obvious that some people in some places at some points in time of ancient Greek society did not hold magic in high esteem, believed it to be hubris and its practice was taboo. But at the same time there is also evidence of people who did practice magic, both high and low, in ancient Greek societies. I hear this explained away by the anti magic crowd as, “Well clearly they knew what they were doing was wrong and they did it anyway.” Uh-huh. I guess that’s one way to explain away contrary evidence while still allowing your pet theory to stand, but its a pretty weak one. By that same token, thousands of years from now, someone could, say, come upon the writings of Pat Robertson and decide that everyone in our culture believed that abortion and homosexuality was morally wrong, but people were still gay and had abortions, well they must have known what they were doing was wrong and did it anyway. We all know its not as simplistic as that, some people hold those beliefs while other people most certainly do not. And since ancient Greece is not in any way the mono culture such people so desperately want to believe that it was, doesn’t it make more sense to assume that different people, living in different places at different periods of time held different options on the practice of magic?

The “logic” that the ancient Hellenes who practised magics “obviously knew it was hubris and did it anyway” really quite fails in the same way that Fred Phelps may like to claim that I “obviously” know that sucking dick and worshipping any God but his is “sinful, but [I] do it anyway knowing this” is full of fail. No, I worship the Gods of Hellas because I believe it in my heart is the right thing to do — and I suck dick because I believe that the myriad ways to give and receive orgasm is a Divine gift. Similarly, many in this day and age who practise magic believe it little more than a tool to aide in or supplement religious practises, so it makes sense that since this culture really hasn’t come all that far from ancient Hellas that there was definitely a similar line of thought to those ancient Hellenes who practised magic. That said, you really can’t argue with the fact that there was a cult of Kirke, nor that Homer’s epigrams included an invocation to Kirke to punish those who have wronged one — nor can you argue with the fact that, like the mythos of many other deities, Kirke’s hardly begins and ends with The Odyssey.

Furthermore, if you place a large amount of spiritual validity in Fate, and/or give the Moirai a large amount of importance in the workings of the world, then logically speaking, those who practise magics cannot possibly be working against their own fates, as they were obviously predestined to practise magics. Now, you can still believe that magic may be hubris, depending on where you place the Moirai in relation to other deities, and if you believe that the Moirai are too disconnected from humanity to care for the desires of, say, Athene (as an example I just pulled out of my arse), then the logic of “magic = hubris” would still be consistent, because now Hubris would be defined as something only certain deities care enough to define, and therefore would only be applicable to certain philosophical schools and/or cults to individual deities. While this formula may then call into question the placement of, say, Zeus as “the Supreme Deity” (since now even He is a mere thread in the tapestry of the Moirai), the existence of cult worship can work around this.

Furthermore, since it is clear that Kirke is an immortal goddess (this is even spoken by Hermes in The Odyssey), complete with Her own cult centre on the quaintly named Isles of Witches (Pharmakoussai) off the coast of Attika, it’s seems apparent that “hubris” may in fact vary from cult to cult — it would seem rather odd if the cult of Kirke would set a bar against spells and potions. Additionally, if modern polytheists are quick to allege that Hera is not the bitter shrew that Homer portrayed in The Odyssey, and indeed point to a vast mythology that quite hardly begins and ends with Homer (who, of the goddesses he portrayed in his epics, was most consistently favourable toward Athene, and clearly using the rest to at least occasionally exercise his own misogynies and apparently personal biases), then the bias that persists against Kirke seems doubly harsh, as her mythology is also far more complex than the picture painted by Homer. I may not be of Her cult, but I can still call bullshit when I see it.

That said, as I’ve stated prior, I don’t do spellwork (unless you follow a loose definition that any ritualised prayer that consists of requesting divine assistance, especially when it comes, is therefore “spellwork”). I definitely don’t do ceremonial magic (absolutely never interested me). I do, though, practise regular divinations.

Divination, at least the definition I use, is the use of a medium to ask the Gods for clues to be interpreted and which may prove useful later. This medium can be nearly anything, and the clues given are usually vague, but sometimes alarmingly clear. My preferred media are scrying, or “seeing something in nothing”, and tasseomancy, or cup-reading; I’ve also occasionally used dowsing with pendulum or, as a child, with a deck of cards; recently, I’ve created tiles for Greek alphabet divination, but have seldom used them.

I’ve been reading cups of tea a Greek (Turkish) coffee since high school, and I’ve gotten rather good at it. You start with loose-leaf tea coffee made in an ibrik (which has to be ground to a fine powder or it will be too bitter), drink until no more than half a tablespoon of liquid is left, then you upturn the cup, hold it tight to the saucer, gift it a good shake, then allow it to run down the inner surface while you form your question. You look for shapes and symbolism that will help you answer it. This method of divination was developed with the ancient Hellenes and used sediment from the bottom of a cup of wine, then later coffee from Ethiopia, and then even later tea — and I think this method may have developed independently in India, as well, but don’t quote me.

Scrying is commonly associated with crystal balls, and indeed, they are popular for it, but I prefer a matte black bowl filled with water or the smoke from incense or bay. I’ve considered trying an obsidian glass (commonly called a “scrying mirror”), but I like my water and smoke — mainly cos they’re cheap, but I was delighted to learn that ancient Hellas was familiar with nearly all forms of scrying, and even had a few springs reserved (apparently) just for the purpose. I first attempted this in high school, but got bored with waiting to see something, and abandoned any further attempts until about four or five years ago, when I managed some success. The way it works best for me is to start by “blurring my vision” and then slowly easing myself into a self-trance; I kind of did this on accident the first time, and still find it impossible to explain how to do this and make it work. Only advice I can offer that seems true to my experiences, is “try to force it, and it won’t work”.

Dowsing is most commonly associated with the use of a forked branch in an attempt to find groundwater (sometimes referred to as “water witching”) and this method may be of 15th Century CE German origin, but pendulums were used earlier in the ancient Near East, and it was first recorded by the ancient Hellenes as being widely practised on Crete as early as 400BCE, and there is evidence that pendulums were used at Delphi[link]. I first did this when I was in high school and used it occasionally until my senior year; the method I got used to was with a dowsing board, and I later learned that most people prefer to do it “freehand” and just determine before holding up the pendulum which direction means what — I prefer a board because it’s consistent and it can leave fewer questions about which direction things start swinging in. I’ve also learned that some people will use just about anything as a pendulum, but I prefer to pick my pendulums the way some people pick their tarot card decks — which would be to browse as many as I can until I find one that I “feel” would get along best with me (or, at least, this is how I’ve heard from a few people how they pick their tarot decks, so I’m assuming it’s relatively common with people who prefer tarot); this would also be the main reason I haven’t had a dowsing session since high school. As a few may know, I left my family’s home rather abruptly the week after my eighteenth birthday, leaving me to finish high-school on my own after deciding on a dime, “fuck this place” and moving to Ann Arbor — long story short, I left a lot of shit behind, including my dowsing board and pendulum, and I haven’t found a pendulum I really liked since, though I’ve since considered replacing my own dowsing board with something hand-made, either painted or embroidered. Well, I take that back, I’ve found a couple pendulums that I feel I could work with, but either other expenses come up, or, during the moments I could, in theory, afford it, I haven’t thought about picking one of them up — and it’s not like I don’t already have other divination methods that also work for me.

Now, dowsing with a deck of cards is something that, as a small child, I first learned about on a now-cancelled program called Pinwheel that my babysitter got on cable. It wasn’t described as “dowsing” in the sketch it was shown in, but it worked pretty much the same way. From memory, the sketch started with a girl looking for her lost thing, and the puppet set up as a sort of gypsy-fortuneteller type handed the girl a deck of cards and directed her to throw them into the air 52 Pickup-style, and that when she reached the final card, she’d find her thing. I did this a lot as a child after that episode, much the the annoyance of my mother, but honestly? It helped me find a lot of things.

Now I do find it oddly coincidental that I started looking into and doing these methods of divination all before I formally started looking into Hellenismos — and that they all managed to also be methods that were also used in ancient Hellas. I also find it rather odd that, in the modern community, or at least the public face of said on-line, like past and present Neokoroi Mantikoi seem to prefer tarot cards.

I’m really not trying to “diss” tarot or people who prefer it and really get along with it. Truth me told, I dabbled in learning tarot during high school, and I just never really liked it. I had nothing to do with learning the meanings of cards, that was actually the easier and more interesting part, and it had nothing to do with various spreads being “restrictive” — in fact, I found a few that I liked and which could have worked for me. In fact, the *only* time I delved into spellcraft (when I was seventeen), it was a method that utilised tarot cards and… let’s just say that the results have forever made me sceptical of those who assert that “magic/spellcraft doesn’t work” — that one incident was enough to convince me that those who can say such things either a) never tried it, and so are basing their “theory” unscientifically on an untested hypothesis, or b) if they tried it, they were totally doing it wrong. That one incident also was freaky enough at the time that it killed my interest in doing anything else with spellcraft, but pretty much as a personal interest only — it did leave me sure that there were definitely people who were meant to delve into this sort of work, and these people did not include myself — I suppose it’s also possible that I misread things completely and that this was a sign that I should dive into it more deeply, but if that’s really the case, then the Theoi really have no problem pointing shit like that out to me when I’m being stubborn.

I’m also really re-thinking the title of this post, as I’ve already made it kinda clear that the “Big Woo” part of my practise is hard to put into coherent thoughts and words. I will also add, though, that I’ve felt a similar nudge toward Trophonios that Sarah Kate has, but I also feel free to explore this at my own pace.

As to whether or not magics and/or divination should be a central focus of Hellenismos, well, I think the ancient Hellenes have left a pretty workable model for that: Most people had vocations and interests that lied elsewhere, and so if their ethics were such that they could make use of those who could perform spells or divinations, then there was no real need to learn it themselves. In fact, oracular work took a lot of training in both receiving and interpreting, so it stands to reason that most people simply weren’t going to do that; maybe a higher ratio were going to pick up cup-reading or scrying or herbal spellcraft (indeed, there were even curse kits that were sold and seemed rather popular for something apparently “forbidden” by leading philosophical schools), but even this was not something that everybody did, if only because learning it seemed a bit daunting. In short, I’m not of the “fundie-recon” opinion that spellcraft should never be delved into — but nor am I of the opinion common in “neo-Pagan” circles that everybody should learn at least a few basic spells: If everybody is special and powerful, or at least potentially so (by common Neo-Pagan thought), then logically it would follow that nobody is, because that would then undermine the definition of “special”, which would be “uncommon”; and if the prevailing idea is that nobody has the potential to be special and powerful (as the bottom line for recon-fundies goes), then the only option for evidence of otherwise is to ignore it, which merely amounts to being just as much of a lie as “everybody is special and powerful”. Obviously, the only logical conclusion here is to admit that there is a middle ground that is in harmony with nature.

…then there’s things like Theurgy, a common practice with NeoPlatonism, and one which possibly originated with them, which really blurs the lines of what is and is not “spellcraft” and therefore begs the question of “is this ‘good magic’, or ‘bad’?” After all, as early as Homer’s Odyssey, there was clearly both “good magic” and “bad magic’ as Hermes revealed to Odysseus the secret herb to defend himself against Kirke’s own spells — which not only cements Hermes’ realm as inclusive of magics, but also makes it clear that not all magics are equal, and that use of defensive, protective magics is easily argued as Not Hubris.

I’ve come to the conclusion that magic is a tool for performing certain functions — there are definitely things that it cannot do (I am highly sceptical of pretty much all of the more fantastical claims from the Neo-Pagan community, including, but not limited to, teleportation and “advanced glamours”, like changing the colour of one’s eyes without contacts). I liken this to any other tool, like a computer or a hammer; you could try using your laptop to pound in a nail, but you’ll get faster and more precise results from a hammer; that said, you also would need the right hammer for the job — using a sledgehammer to do the job of a carpenter’s hammer will probably damage your project, and using a ball-peen hammer for carpentry will probably damage your hammer. You will also find it cumbersome, at best, to use a jeweller’s hammer in place of a whisk when mixing pancakes, and you will find it impossible to log onto the Internet with one. It’s also possible to go through your entire life and never have to personally use any hammer at all and be completely fine, because other tools are better suited not only to your purposes, but your skills — but you probably live in a house or apartment that was built by people who used hammers and loads of other tools you may know nothing about. On the other hand, you may also go through your life never having had to employ the use of a stick-blender, either on your own or through another person — you just have no desire to drink a smoothie, or you can clearly see that the barrista making yours is using a pitcher-style blender.

Magic is kind of like that; it would be impossible for most people to say 100% conclusively that magics have had absolutely no effect on their lives, but it can be far easier to answer whether or not we’ve personally employed it, either ourselves or through one we know to be proficient in it. It’s also a tool, based on its nature, that most people who employ it should probably go through one who is learned in using it — it can be more jack-hammer than carpenter’s hammer. You may also find it best to never once employ another for it, and that’s fine, too.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to condemn those who for themselves believe it would be unethical to employ magics; after all, there are some people who get through life just fine without employing any religious beliefs, and I don’t condemn them, but I do think those condemning all employment of magics, even by people they clearly have nothing to do with, should shut the fuck up. While I understand the desire to distance one’s own religious practises from Popular Wicca, really now, there’s a point where I think some people are just too quick to throw the baby out with the bathwater. After all, the pentagram has roots with Pythagoreans, and I find it a little childish the way some modern Hellenists will run screaming from one simply because it’s been adopted by Wiccans — after all, Pythagoreans, arguably, have far more right to it than Wiccans. And while on the topic of Pythagoras, it seems quite obvious that many ancient Hellenes believed Pythagoras capable of fantastic magical feats, and that this does not seem too clearly discouraged by the man himself — I’m not saying anything more than this fact is, well, intriguing, and that it also wears away at the potential assumption that all philosophical schools may outright condemn magics.

I also have no problem with modern groups that have decided that a defining point of their group will be either an apparent rejection of spellwork (as seems to be the case with YSEE, but obviously is not the case with every Hellene in Hellas), or simply defines it as something irrelevant to the group (as with Hellenion, which I’m obviously a member of). Groups should be free to define themselves as their members see fit, obviously. No, my issue is with those who seek to ignore the facts of ancient Hellas when its convenient for them to do so, and when those people seek to denounce those today who don’t fit into their own fabricated ideal. Remember, I’m one who has naught interest in spellcraft and whose only arguably “magical” practises pretty much begin and end with divination, which even some “fundies” claim to have no problem with. Hellas never existed as a monoculture, and it’s intellectually dishonest to extol the merits of a reconstructed path while blatantly ignoring the wealth of ancient practises, much less denouncing certain practises as somehow “invalid” and unworthy of modern practise because they simply exist outside of one’s own invented ideal.

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Before I went to bed last night….

I tend to turn on music (radio, CD, mp3 player) before I go to bed. Either I or my mother has done this for as long as I can remember. Last night (or, more accurately, yesterday at 5am or something), I started to go to bed and turned on the radio — then this neat, albeit creepy little song came on:

 

…and for the duration, until it slipped into Geneva Jacuzzi, I was taken out of my room, all other sensations were relieved of me but Eros’s touch, hands, breath, all possible sights set to focus on His familiar face, hair, wings….

After it finished, I got up to find out what it was (bless you WCBN) and then this led me to their MySpace. That song has since ear-wormed me for a significant portion of the last twenty-four.

How would I describe Eros

Think of what an urban Dionysos might be like, but with a couple extra points on his Sanity roll.

Think of the taste of milk chocolate and amaretto and give it the sound of a love song by Richard Hell.

Your favourite 60s garage-punk anthem sung by Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue.

“Love Is Blue”, vocal version, in the original French — and the feeling of knowing that there’s a vocal version.

A lap warmed by a kitty and a mouth cooled by mint cigarettes.

Ouzo cake.

The original cover of Diamond Dogs held up by the tiny feet of Australian diamond doves.

The first time you ever made love and the first time you had some good ol’ dirty fucking — re-lived simultaneously, over and over.

Feeling a chill when the sun is out, and high heat after it has set.

A lover’s nibbles on your ear hours after you’ve parted for the day.

Many birds are naturally Erotic, the males are lush and wildly colourful, and the females seem almost drab. Many others are serial monogamists, a few even mate for life. Some are even renowned for their same-sex pairings (despite the Abrahamic mythos that it’s “so unnatural even the birds and beasts won’t dare”). Most are extremely social. He’s like a bird.

Boeotian New Year is upon me, and my dreams are getting weird….

So, this December 17th marks the Boeotian New Year (see here for the semblance of a reconstructed / new Boeotian calendar I managed to concoct), and reading a brief summary of a friend’s dream about Apollon jogged my memory of the weird things my brain threw at me last night.

In my dream, I was discussing with Eros a potential Boeotian New Year party, but the idea was still pretty much in embryo and I’d set nothing concrete. But Eros, being who he is, took it upon Himself to send out invitations to all of my friends for a party. The two weeks pass, and I really didn’t think much more of the idea of a party, since I have friends who host a pretty sweet Gregorian calendar New Year party, and that’s only two weeks after Boeotian New Year observances, so I didn’t think chances were high that anybody I could invite would come for an extra party.

…but no, the day of the party, I’m getting out of the shower for Gay Night at the club, and people have arrived for a party — while I’m in a towel, the apartment a mess, no snacks, etc…. I apologised for the misunderstanding, and invited them to come out with me, instead, and then more people show up. And then more. Then still more. And it was getting rather ridiculous, and many of them getting angry with me — some even accusing me of “having no piety at all” and just jerking my friends around.

But Eros wasn’t angry. He said that he thought he told me, and more importantly, he thought I had spoken of concrete plans and not just an idea I had thought about doing maybe. At some point, it became very clear to Him and myself that He was the only one the who wasn’t angry, so we locked ourselves in my room and performed a simple ritual with an offering of wine and fruit and performed divinations for the coming year until everybody had left.

Because, sometimes, situational depression is funny:

[19:41] Ruadhán: Well, no suicide for today, either. In fact, it looks like I’m good for the rest of the week.
[19:42] Renee: Hey…I’m sorry I wasn’t much of a conversationalist yesterday…I was in some pain and not much good. But I’m glad to hear you’re not going to kill yourself.
[19:42] Renee: I was worried about you after you signed off, and relieved to see you’d posted to twitter in the middle of the night
[19:43] Ruadhán: It was funny — last night, I decided to take it up with The Magic 8-Ball:

“Should I kill myself?”
Yes. Definitely.
o_O “OK… best two out of three… Should I kill myself?”
Yes. Definitely.
O_o “OK…. Are there powerful Gods out there hoping my response to the 8-Ball would be contrarian in nature?”
Yes. Definitely.

[19:44] Renee: wow
[19:44] Ruadhán: Yes, when they make a film about my life, that scene is staying in.
[19:45] Renee: :-)
[19:46] Ruadhán: Furthermore, how embarrassing would it be if people somehow found out that I had killed myself on the grounds that *The Magic 8-Ball* said I should? My ego just couldn’t deal with it.
[19:46] Renee: that would be quite embarrassing
[19:48] Ruadhán: I know! I mean, OK, if the entrails say so, well, that’s different — there’s a whole ritual involved for that. On the other hand, a magic 8-ball costs $6 at K-Mart and even a four-year-old has the arm-strength to operate it.
[19:48] Renee: LOL

And I decided to post with this today because I’ve been watching a lot of ROME and figured that this kind of post would be a nice way to show that, yes, there are still people even today who honestly believe that the Theoi are a part of even such every-day things.

Trust Me, You Don’t Want to Know Eros

At the very least, you don’t want to know Eros like I know Eros.

He’s a possessive Theos. He has this distinction of being one of the oldest of all the Theoi, one of the Protogonoi, yet is in this timeless form, appearing at first glance to be one of the youngest. If you have more than one sibling, you’ll know that the oldest and the youngest tend to get what they want and keep it — at the very least, until they either don’t want it or have no use for it and send it down to the next one or it gets thrown out or given to a charity shop. I don’t see Eros outgrowing me anytime too soon. I also get Him implying all over the place that the only reason I have any sort of relationship with Apollon, and any direct contact with any other Theoi is because He OK’s it. He likes to wave His Proto- status around like half-naked guy with a string of sausages at a Bear Night. Sure, I had my “first contact” with Apollon, but I guess that’s not what’s important — what’s important is he keeps repeating that damned line from the closing cab scene in the Breakfast At Tiffany’s film — and what He says, goes. He’s a billion years old and was here before all of them but Nyx and Erebos. He caused the birth of the Moirai, with the implication that He can steer fate, when he chooses. And if Eros wants you, Eros can have you, and if you think The Others will contest this, you’re wrong.

He’s got a “trickster” element to His personality, so he’s not subtle. He’ll even throw two, maybe three very similar things at you within the course of a week and make you guess which is yours. If you guess wrong, He’ll let you know — and it won’t be subtle. This also means that he’s a tease.

He’s not merely a Lover, He’s a Creator — and you better live up to what he knows you can make with your maind and hands. And like any young human lover, He’ll let you know when he’s dissatisfied with your prezzies. Just like a Starfucker at a WeHo party, he wants his offerings from his adoring creative people to be custom made especially for Him, and if that’s not possible, He wants it expensive. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear He’s been hanging out with Aphrodite for far too long.

One of His epithets, Eleutherios (one He shares with Dionysos), is very telling. He will not only inspire the ever-day worshipper to casting down that which holds them back, but if He wants you to, He can very well make you break out of those chains. He won’t make it worse, no, I’m grateful that He’s one of the gentler ones, but he won’t be subtle, either. He can start with giving you just a little taste of what you’re missing out on, even if “breaking free” from whatever is going to have this long transitory period where things are going to be far more difficult difficult and seemingly heartbreaking, what he will show you will be that good that you’ll be willing to go through damned near anything to do what He knows you should.

He’s also very sexual. He’s quicker than any other Theos I know about to use sex as a metaphor. This makes sense, though — as a liberator, the physical motions of orgasm, tension and release, can be potent. Regardless, prudes need not approach Him. I’m under the impression that He has little use for them, and that they may even confuse him, probably considers them “icky” (though this may be largely due to my understanding of Him).

As much as I love Him, though, He can be frustrating, sometimes even infuriating. If you engage Him in a battle of wills, you will not win. If you don’t keep up your end of the relationship, He will not remind you subtly. Subtle is the last thing that occurs to Him, as is sitting back and just waiting for you to get your shit together.