THIS is How You Name a Sexual Aid Company After an Ancient Goddess

Hathor Aphrodisia premium lubricants

image posted because I LOVE the design work on this logo

No, really, Athena doesn’t care about your sex life.

While I’m at it, The “Eroscillator” brand sure is expensive —I find this appropriate, especially considering all the graphics illustrating the superior design, and not to mention the goldtone of everything (and not to mention an actual gold-plated Eroscillator), I just can’t afford any of it.

And I gotta give props to Pjur brand’s Eros line of lubes; the Power Cream is honestly the best thing I’ve ever used.

ΑΛΓΕΣΙΔΩΡΟΣ

For the first time in a long time, Eros entered me last night (not in the meat-puppetry sense). As I worked His device, it was as if I felt the blue, and green, and purple of my hair, and tasted His words (as always, “Your mine, you belong to me”), and heard the sensation of being broken open and tasted the divine connection pouring from between my legs and an orifice He made in my chest long before I had a surgeon cut me open. A few hours short of twenty-four later, I’m still feeling the contours of His device, even though it’s rested under its pillow since just shortly afterward.

And more importantly, I’ve been holding this complexity of feelings, like an infatuated adolescent who was only a virgin a few hours before, and the sick feeling before undergrad finals. Maybe there will be tears later? Who knows?


The birds are His (and the butterflies, as much as they are His sister’s) even, nay, especially those sacred to other Theoi. The dove was His before it was Aphrodite’s; the peacock was His before it was Hera’s.

He guided the worm to create itself into a butterfly for Psykhe to guide the souls to their loved ones.


I know what He expects of me; how He wants me to be marked as His. Indeed, it’s why my obsessions have been gravitating the ways they have lately.

…but if he’s assured me of otherwise, why do I still feel ugly, unworthy to become, much less be His?


Just take it, silly; even if you didn’t, that wouldn’t change things. Don’t ask why. Just accept.

Begin Again

So, now is the time I’ve come to observe as the Boeotian New Year (just downloaded hella PDF files, both something called The Boeotian Project and The Ancient Boeotians, if I can find anything more about the calendar, this may prove different next year). I realise it’s technically long into the AM hours for me, but considering the hours I’ve been keeping lately, it’s actually still kind of like late last night.

The “festivities” began with cleaning up the apartment for the previous two days and part of earlier today. This took the time that it did for a lot of reasons, but mostly 1) I like to do a lot of Noumenia-related cleaning during Hekate’s Depinion and 2) I have serious allergies and keep forgetting to buy face masks — this means I end up needing to take a break every twenty minutes to let the dust settle and to clear my head of snot. In this, i also ended up doing my laundry, including a bunch of things that probably didn’t need it, but the Theoi only know how long these things had been on the floor.

So, for Mnenosyne and Hai Mousai, who boasted a large cult in their own right in Thespiae, I’ve both acquired a rosemary and now it’s festive:

Do you know how hard that key pattern is to do by hand? :-p guh… like stringing pearls, man, I swear.

…and, because I’m a dork, I’ve strung lights around the laurel — pretty much because i can:

Actually, the plants were decorated last week, but whatever.

As I finished up today’s cleaning, I asked the Theoi for their blessings upon the household in the coming year. Afterward, I showered (cos I hadn’t yet — and even if i had, I was suddenly covered in cleaning dust and stuff. I’m still not completely done with cleaning, but it’s clean enough in here for most rituals.

Then onward to the Ultra-Traditional New Year’s Meal™ (hint: I jest) of Whatever Crap i could Find In the Fridge. Actually, i had a rough idea of what i was going to do, but I ended up doing some scrounging to complete the meal.

Often are the times I just decide to throw a bunch of crap onto a pita, toss it in a 400°F oven for ten minutes, and call it a meal. This time, I found a little left-over thing that seemed to contain a tappenade, i think from Macaroni Grill, and so that means, if I think right, this little single-serve portion of finely chopped olives and other stuff cost about $4 — now that’s class:

I then crumbled a bunch of feta on top, halved some pitted kalamata olives, sliced some roasted, marinated garlic i get in this jar in the produce section (this garlic, I swear — almost as good as sex), and chopped up some leftover turkey. Threw some parmesian and the last 1/4oz of shredded Swiss on top so that it all sticks to the bread, and then….

As the timer tick-tick-ticked away ten minutes, I even dished out a festive holiday meal for the kitties:

OK, it’s the same crap they get every night when i have dinner, but it’s not like they know what day it is! [taps nose] I sort of wish i had some of the fancier wet food for the cats, but considering that I didn’t even have the money to throw myself a meal any fancier than Crap I Found In the Fridge, I’m not too worried.

Ding! Dinner’s up, and I settle in with tasty food and libate to the Theoi in gratitude and kharis, then wash my hands for ritual.

Honestly, this was completely unscripted, and I found myself offering praise to Theoi I typically don’t offer additional cultus to, such as Herakles, and whom I have not in quite a while, like Dionysos. And as I scooped up portions of pomegranate with my hand, praised the nymphai Whose springs have founded cities, and the heroes who founded Boeotia, Hesiod whose words influenced the whole of the Hellenic religions, all of Hellas, and even my own family line, both ancient and current generations.

I still have some divinations to perform, but here’s once last photo to satiate you people:

(the far-left dish contains both pomegranate arils and pieces of quince — both of which i only seem to get around this time of year)

Condom & Lube ritual for Eros

I have a bowl of condoms I keep by my bed, and three different kinds of lube. When I refresh the bowl or replace a bottle, I have a small ritual to Eros.

*wash hands and face from khernips bowl
*light a candle
*light incense (for Eros, i like a stick of sandalwood and a stick of vanilla)
*my hymn to Eros
*a small prayer for blessing as a sprinkle spring water from khernips
*wave bowl and/or bottle(s) through the smoke

…my rituals for Eros use tea lights and I prefer to just let them burn out rather than extinguishing them with a snuffer, but the reasons I have for that are between Eros and myself. The ritual, though, pretty much anybody can use — I imagine Aphrodite might appreciate similar, even.