The Story of Narkissos

Re-told by Ruadhan J McElroy

[note: The following is a revised version of a piece of mine that was originally printed in Issue #13 of He Epistole. The Narkissos mythos are of Boeotian origin, and there are literally dozens of variations of the story, some very wildly different from the rest (such as the one contesting that Narkissos longed for His lost twin), most of which actually don't even mention the nymphe Ekho, Who is quite prominent in the most popular modern retellings (though for that, we have Ovid to blame). Mine takes from a few of my favourite versions and draws heavily from my cultus to the Erotes.]

Many millennia ago, in the Greek land of Boetoia, there was a handsome youth born to a river god, Kephisos, and a naiad, Liriope. They named him “Narkissos”, an adaptation of the ancient Greek word for “numb” because unlike other infants, his birth did not seem to amaze him in any way – he simply took the sudden shock of all the earth’s glory created by both Gods and mortals in such a calm and collected manner as if he were jaded by it all.

When Narkissos grew into a young man of sixteen, he had already acquired many potential suitors, but turned them all away in a callous manner. One day, Ameinias, a young man whose affections Narkissos had been especially toying with could not stand it any longer, and proclaimed, “Beautiful Narkissos, I would rather die than suffer another breath without you in my arms!”

Narkissos yawned and offered Ameinias his own sword, saying nothing what could not be said with no more than a cruel smirk.

Ameinias took Narkissos’ sword and walked away, trying to hide his pain. He wandered for hours until he finally returned to Narkissos’ door. Whispering a prayer to Anteros and to Nemesis, petitioning the Theoi to see that Narkissos himself feel the pain of unrequited love. Ameinias then fell on Narkissos’ sword and lay there writhing in pain until finally Thanatos took pity on the man, and Ameinias breathed his final breath. When Narkissos discovered Ameinias’ cold body at his stoop, he ordered for a slave to carry the corpse away, claiming he was already bored with looking at it.

Outraged by such an unfeeling rejection of sincere love, the Erotes set a curse on Narkissos, damning him to fall in love with the ugliest young man he should ever cast his glance upon – and sometimes these things don’t necessarily work out in the most literal fashion.

As Narkissos made his way out that day, he passed wretches of young men – dwarves of ill proportions, men with burn scars and horrible red birthmarks covering their faces, men whose limbs had been lost from leporsy, men whose faces were covered in the blisters of herpes, men disfigured by curses placed upon their mothers or themselves. None of these men were determined by the earthly daimones as being ugly enough for Anteros’ curse. That is, until Narkissos came upon a reflecting pool. At first alarmed, Narkissos quickly became so enamoured with his own reflection that time just seemed to stand still. You see, even the love Gods realise that beauty is only part physical and while Narkissos happened upon many men who could be considered monstrous in comparison to just the physical parts of beauty, Narkissos’ behaviour toward Ameinias was determined to be so grotesque that even They, lovers themselves of the well-sculpted and well-preened male form, could not even see his physical beauty any longer. When igniting the wrath of the Gods, it only matters how They define such things.

When Narkissos finally reached out to touch the boy in the water, he realised that it was merely his reflection in a pool of water and became so heartbroken that he felt he had no other choice but to meet the youth’s embrace anyway, even if it meant that he should drown himself. Anything, Narkissos thought, was greater than to live loving a man who he could never touch. And as he began to succumb to death’s embrace, he finally wept for Ameinias as he realised what pain the other young man must have felt, and he begged for the Gods’ forgiveness as the waters filled his lungs.

When his lifeless body floated to the top of the water, some nymphs took pity upon him and retrieved his body for proper burial right by the spring so that he could at least rest beside his beloved. Soon after burial, by the grace of the Gods, from Narkissos’ grave sprang a flower which later became named for him so that those who hear of its origins will see it and remember to at least be kind to those who seek our love, even if we do not seek theirs in return. By grace of the nymphai, Narkissos lives on as a daimon, a lover to those unloved.

Transgender Day of Rememberance

[This was originally cross-posted to the Hellenion_Chat and Neokoroi e-mail lists, and it just occurred to me that I didn't get around to posting this here, like I said that I would, because the latest FireFox update is total crap and keeps freezing up and the only way to fix it is to reboot this eight-years-old eMachines piece of poopie.]

For those not in-the-know, 20 November is the Transgender Day of Rememberance for TS/TG persons who have died as victims of hate-crimes and is an important day for TS/TG persons (MTF and FTM) and their friends, families, and allies.

As one whose gender has often been debated by others (even though it’s been clear to me for the last two decades and some [note: I consider my condition one of many states of being a "biological eunuch", in that I did not go through a normal boy puberty; but just for the record, I'm male-identified and making several hormonal and surgical "corrections"]), I plan to just simply offer libation, a small portion of lavender, and some music by Jayne County (who is awesome), recite my version of the Story of Hermaphroditos [note: to be posted later, currently in Iss#17 of He Epistole, ask me for a PDF or printed copy], and give this small prayer:

O Kybele, O Hermaphroditos,
Theoi of changed forms,
All I ask of you on this sacred day to those of similar fate
And of form andro-gynos by birth or by hand,
Is to seek justice for those whose time was cut short,
And to aid and protect those who remain in a world less understanding.
May Persephone and Adonis lead those passed safely to the Fields of Elysium,
May those who brought them to You too soon be dealt their due justice in this world,
And by Those Who Judge the Dead.
May Athene and Zeus guide the judges of the living to seek mercy on the deceased,
As you, O Andro-Gynos Theoi, give comfort and confidence to the living.

My rituals are usually very simple, consisting of little more than offering of food and/or herb and libation.

The Hazards of Devoted Cultus

One of the problems I’ve encountered with having highly devoted cult reverence to Eros, Apollon, and The Muses (of course, it seems that Apollon bloggers are a dime-a-dozen these days, heck, I list three of them in my side-bar) is that there are going to be misconceptions amongst co-religionists who do not participate in your cult reverence. Oi Theoi. Here are two of the most highly misconceived things about cult practise:

1: The assumption that I don’t worship any other Theoi, or that they all take a sort of “back seat” to Eros worship. I don’t even know how to begin with how wrong this is. For starters, my kitchen is all about Hestia, Demeter, and Zeus Ktesios. Little shrine-like things may not have sprung up overnight, but I’m living on disability allowance, and thus a very fixed income, so if all I can afford at the moment is reciting a rotation of prayers as I’m mixing muffin or pancake batter, that’s a hell of a lot better than how most of my father’s friends thought that being Catholic was all about putting up a shrine in the parlour and going to mass whenever one had something to confess. The fact of the matter is, just like in ancient times, those who were a part of deity-specific cults worshipped the whole pantheon, though their cult practises would vary — some practises extended into daily life, along with daily pantheon devotions, while others wouldn’t. It is wholly possible, and often practised, that one who has a high cult devotion (or “patron relationship”, as some may prefer) to one or two Theoi also reveres and worships the rest of the pantheon.

2: I’m not an Hellenic polytheist / I worship my own personal pantheon. OK, I haven’t had people say that kind of thing to me or about me specifically as much as I’ve seen it being said to and about other people. This is based often on spotty knowledge of another person’s practises. News flash! Nobody has an obligation to go into great detail of what one does every day in their religious practises. In modern Western society, religion is regarded as rather personal, so it goes without saying that many people of any religion will feel that there is a stigma about sharing anything about what they do, and those who do share will feel that there is a point where they can share “too much” and do not want to cross that line, especially when there are at least two books on the market at the moment, as well as a few websites, that give details about what Hellenistai do, in their practises. I’m sure many feel that, with this information easily accessible (within reason, of course), that explaining all sorts of details is unnecessary; the practises less shared, though, are those that are cult-specific, modern syncretic practises, and new practises based on the reconstructionist method that fill a sort of “niche” that isn’t touched on in general-info sites and books. To assume that because Billy is only describing his practises that fit in with what I described means that Billy isn’t really an Hellenic polytheist but instead worships some personally-designed pantheon that he’s picked and chosen deity names from other pantheon(s) for is absurd, especially if he’s stated several times what his religion is. The problem with the “logic” of “the proof is in the pudding” is that it assumes that the pudding itself is actual proof of what one says it is.

It kind of goes without saying that those deeply involved in cult worship are going to at least come across as somewhat “exclusive” in conversation, but that’s just how certain levels of devotion play out. It also means that said persons often work extra-hard to keep up with worship of the rest of the Pantheon and other holy days not exclusive that that Thiasos.

Eros in My Daily Ritual

When I first “came back to the Theoi” several years ago (after identifying as a “Satanist” between the ages of 19 and 22, then as “spiritual agnostic” for another year), I was initially “led” by Apollon. Based on the experiences relayed to my by other Hellenistai and Hellenic Neo-Pagans, Apollon seems to do that, a lot. Since coming to understand Eros cult worship, I include specific Eros reverence in my daily devotional worship.

My daily devotional worship is based on the page of Daily Devotions w/ Orphic Hymns that is on the Hellenion website. I follow this format almost exactly with only three real differences:

  • I do not use strictly Orphic hymns. My own theology deviates from that of the Orphics, so continuing to use hymns of their that deviate from my own theology just doesn’t seem right; after all, if you don’t believe it, then don’t recite it in devotional practise just because it’s ancient. If you ask me, there’s a difference between having respect, a certain degree of reverence, and consideration for ancient ways, and then there’s just blindly doing something or saying it just because it’s old. I do use a couple of the Orphic hymns, but pretty far from all of them; I also think that the Taylor translation of the Hymn to Hestia/Vesta is the best one to use, as I think his choice of words, measure, and general “flow” is the best-suited English translation of the hymn as it doesn’t merely translate the words, it gives an amazing feel for Who Hestia is, as a Goddess (some Hellenistai may disagree with me, but if studying primary sources has taught me nothing else, it’s taught me that even though the pre-Christian Hellenic religion was community-based, seldom were the times that people actually agreed on anything). I’m using more and more of my own works, which use simple lyric measures, alternative and/or modified lyric septameters, Beat-influenced free verse, and “slam”-influenced measure and verse.
  • I no longer use “Theos of the days” hymns listed by Campbell that weren’t regarded by Hesiod. I still do devotional practises daily, but a lot of those recitations he listed just felt like “busywork”, to me. Also, a lot of my modern practise is, essentially, Boeotian in origin, and maintains Eros as a primary Theos; while I have immense respect for Dionysos and Dionysian cultists, a lot of the numbered hymns of Orpheus are Dionysos-based — which makes sense for them, as Dionysos was one of their primary deities. For one whose primary cultus paid is “Erotic” and Apollonian in origin, filling a month with Dionysian “busywork” just doesn’t sit well.
  • At night, I also add in a special “Eros portion” at the point in the ritual outline where it says “Hymns to Patron/Matron Deities”

Now, in the interest of “community” cult worship (no matter how small or how many miles apart), let me share with you what I do in that little breaking-up of ritual.


After the hymn to The Stars, I go to my Eros shrine (which, in my small bedroom, is directly across from my Apollon/Hermes/Dionysos shrine, which also doubles as my primary ritual altar), and I light a small “tea light” candle from the Hestia candle on my primary altar/shrine; this, in my head, keep my Eros cult worship symbolically “connected” to my primary/general Hellenic practise. I then take a stick of sandalwood incense and light it from the tea light, get the flame going for a few seconds, then blow out the flame so that the incense smoulders and burns evenly[1]. I then recite the hymns to the Theoi I pay cultus to, starting with Eros. At libations, I first pour a portion of wine to Eros in an offering bowl at His shrine, then to the Pantheon at the bowl at my primary altar; then I turn back to the Eros shrine and take a tiny sip from His bowl. I also do not extinguish the Eros candle after extinguishing the first one.


The act of drinking a portion of the offering I took from a friend’s Shiavite Hindu practise, wherein he tells me that this is customary as it makes the offering a formal invite to the Gods into our lives. This struck me as a beautiful practise, in and of itself, and I also thought long and hard about how Hinduism has maintained many of its practises and traditions through the centuries and how, in ancient times, there is plenty of surviving evidence that little practises were taken back and forth between peoples. I see no reason for that small act to have not been adopted by, or possibly even adopted from Greek cult sects, had the traditions survived Christianity — in fact, I have a huge theory that I need to formalise into an essay about the similarities in practises between ancient Greeks and modern surviving polytheistic religions of Hindus and the Kalash peoples, and why modern polytheists engaging in a reconstructionist method should look to those surviving groups, as well as surviving Greek “folk practises” maintained in rural areas almost completely unchanged for centuries if the goal is to truly connect what we do, as modern worshippers, to the practises of ancient peoples. Shivite Hinduism is, basically (though more complex than just this, I’m sure), a sect that centres on Shiva as a primary deity. Even if I were to assume that this is a practise unique to that sect, that the Shivite sect is essentially what many Hellenics would consider a “cult”, then it still makes some sense to adopt some version of the consumption of the offering within a cult practise. I take a small sip of wine from Eros’ bowl with the thought, belief, and intent in my mind and heart that I am both inviting Eros into my life and a small part of Him into my soul.

I leave the tea light to burn itself out because first off, tea lights in aluminium cups (what I use) are probably the safest candles to do that with and since the cats aren’t allowed in my bedroom (for a large number of reasons), I don’t have to worry about them setting anything on fire. Secondly, as the shrine lies near the foot of my bed, I liken it to “leaving the light on” for a lover to come home to. As a symbolic gesture, it solidifies the invite to Eros into my life and soul.


Footnotes
1: I got the idea for sandalwood specifically from Sannion, as well as others who are Dionysos cultists. On the Hellenion devotions Devotional page I linked above, aromatic herbs are listed as appropriate for Eros, and while I do give aromatics at some times, I arrived at the conclusion for daily sandalwood for two reasons. 1) He shares with Dionysos the epithet of “Eleutherios”, or “The Liberator”. 2) Sandalwood incense, scented oils, scented candles, etc…, are commonly sold today as an Aphrodisiac or Erotic scent. [And, as a bonus, a box of 200 sticks of the sandalwood incense I use costs only $10 and lasts me over six months. As much as some people claim otherwise, being an Hellenistai in the recon method does not have to be expensive.]

The Theoi of Mod

As I am wont to say, I am a hopeless Mod, so as a post I’m making cos I really want to blog today but can’t think of anything really good to say, let me explain to the non-Mod Pagans and Polytheists and Hellenistai reading this (which is probably everybody but me) the Mod culture with different Theoi.

Apollon: I generally think of Apollon as the most-Mod of the Theoi. Many Hellenistai recognise Apollon as the Theos of Moderation (unlike Nietzscheans, who regard Him as the God of Abstinence — silly, silly, Nietzscheans…), and there is an old saying about Apollon, often presented in the form of an exchange between He and Artemis, wherein Apollon states, “Ah, but I advocate moderation of all things, including moderation itself!” Mods in the 1960s were ragarded as flamboyant dandies in comparison to their working-class backgrounds, but it can’t be denied that they were still considerably less flamboyant than Oscar Wilde, who came before, and the other youth cultures that came after. Mods are still very much like this. The music, which danceable, is hardly the rhythmic thumping of disco and its derivatives (which I regard as Dionysian). Even Mod jazz has some semblance of order amidst the syncopation, but just enough of that freeness to steer clear of that soulless and detestable “smooth jazz”.

Dionysos: Dionysos and Apollon are far from being polar opposites (as Nietzsche liked to portray); to continue that misconception is to underestimate both Theoi, and (in this blogger’s opinion) is very much “missing the mark” and tantamount to blasphemy — but enough about that. Dionysos, through throwing in an element of careful excess (as a Theos of the Theatre and concerts, I highly doubt He approved of Axl Rose’s temper tantrums, and I also find it hard to believe that the Theos of Wine appreciates getting drunk to the point of being sick all over everything, or driving into a tree, or using substances to commit rape) is a Theos perfectly worshipped in just about any nightclub. And really, if any of the Theoi truly appreciate Jazz, I would have to say that it’s Dionysos.

Hermes: Hermes is the Theos most commonly associated with innovation, novelty, and progress — in other words, Hermes is a modernist. Apollon, being among the most sophisticated of the Theoi, is naturally a Modernist (and a modernist) by default, but where Apollon is there to remind us that analogue sound is of superior quality, making the slight medium degeneration from even perfect use of vinyl worth its imperfections, Hermes is there to remind us that it’s perfectly OK to record our records onto mp3′s to not only prevent unnecessary degeneration of the sound recording medium, but because the iPod just looks so cool! A God of Transportation, it was both the desire for affordable transportation and ost WWII resourcefulness that both birthed the Motor Scooter and popularised it amongst British Mods.

Hyakintos: Though commonly regarded amongst mythology buffs and modern worshippers as a Hero, I think there is sufficient enough evidence that the Spartans regarded Him as either a Theos in his own right, or as Hemitheos (demigod) to some extent. That out of the way, let’s look at the most famous attributes of Hyakintos — Young, Male lover and beloved of Apollon, Athletic. Though, in recent years, Mod had been maintained by older generations, at its heart, it’s still a youth culture, meaning that young people are necessary to its growth in both size and spirit. There is also a joke amongst Mod that goes “What do you call a fat Mod? A Trad Skin” and in the book Mod: A Very British Phenomenon, it is stated that “there are no fat Mods”. As for the gay? Well, just check out the first two albums by the band Secret Affair, which my guitarist and I joke solidifies their position as the gayest band composed of all-heterosexual members; also, Pete Townshend has finally admitted that, though he has maintained a heterosexual identity since the 1980s, he “experimented with men” in the 1960s, and at this point, everybody should know that David Bowie was once a more obvious Mod (if you ask me, he never stopped being a Mod, but that’s another story for another time), so obviously sexual ambiguity is not something that Mods should have any sort of problem with (and, historically, is something that Mods typically don’t). By this revelation of Mod, Adonis should be well-suited to Mod worship, as well.

Hekate: I’m not leaving out Goddesses, ladies! A Goddess of gateways and crossroads and the underworld (all of which get mentioned frequently in old blues standards covered by The Yardbirds and The Rolling Stones), Hesiod regarded Her as a feminine counterpart to Hermes and the most powerful of all the Titans. She’s also probably the only Goddess, after Artemis, whom I can envision looking just as regal and Divine with either a bob or pixi haircut. I also biased because there’s a song by Makin’ Time called “Two Coins For the Ferryman”, which seems to contain many Hellenic mythological references including, possibly, Hekate — though I could just be inserting my own meaning there because it’s what I want to hear.

[poetry] To Eros

First-born Theos, son of maiden Nyx,
Born before your presence caused
She and Erebos
To see the beauty in each-other.
Born by parthenogenesis,
You inspire creation.
Everything ever gestated
Is indebted to you,
Lord Eros,
Eternal ephebos,
Giver of passions.
Immortal ephebos hiera,
My Divine beloved,
Giver of
My mortal lovers.
When blood was spilled
From the loins of Oranos,
Fall into the water did His seed as well,
And from there,
In the waters before you,
Sprang forth Kypris,
She who is foam-risen,
Your equal in power
And beauty,
And inspiring love
Among both Gods and men.
Your surrogate family when
Dark-haired Nyx
Seems so very far away.
Almighty Lord Eros,
Hear your adoring suppliant’s prayers,
And lead him on a path of
Passion,
Creation,
And love
Both mortal
And Immortal

Urban Pagan Essay

I’m the Urban Pagan, Baby!

If you don’t read my comments, Yvonne Aburrow (who created the Pagan Theologies Pagan Blog Listing) pointed me to her above essay in my post about Urban Pan. Entertaining, well thought out, and informative.

Also, since I got a lot of positive response after it posted, feel free to read also my “urban pagan manifesto” on WitchVox.